Pathology

Tonight I had an appointment with my surgeon to check my incisions and see if the final pathology was back.  He is always running late and after the surgery fiasco I know why.  His office manager knew I was sick so she called me at home when it was time for me to come in.  

I am not going to lie I was nervous.  Nervous that the pathology wasn't back.  Nervous that it was.  Just nervous.

Seriously?!

My recovery has been going pretty well, until Saturday when I came down with a fever.  No infection which is great, but I have the FLU!  WTF?!  I got my shot, and so did my kids.  And they have it TOO!  And Josh also has something!

All of us sick.  Seriously?!  Now!

Surgery

Okay, so if foul language bothers you stop reading now because I am getting ready to let it fly!

Okay, Tomorrow is the day....

After the mix up last week I had a few days to forget about things and try to do some normal stuff.  We went to the movies, rode our bikes, went on walks, went to the park with friends.  It was all nice and helped me get my mind of off tomorrow.  

I am back to where I was last Wednesday.  So many emotions.  I am happy to be moving on with the next step, but also scared to be moving on.  It's the unknown.  Chemo, I know how to do, but surgery and radiation, that's new.  Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like to do stuff that I am not good at and I don't like the unknown.  I am sure it's hard to be bad at surgery and radiation, but still, I don't know how it all works, so I really don't know how to do it.  

I know it all will be fine.  It will be hard, but it will be fine.  

A few weeks ago we had our pictures taken. Tonight I got the final copies.  What a way for me to end my day and start tomorrow.  I am so grateful for this:

And this:

And especially this:

Thank you Daisy Palafox for taking these amazing pictures!
https://daisypalafoxphotography.shootproof.com

Well, it turns out today is NOT the day!

So, today is NOT the day.  Big mix up on the nuclear medicine that needed to be ordered and it turns out it wasn't ordered and can't be here any time today.  

So, now, MONDAY is the day.  

Yay!  More time for me to sit and worry.  Awesome!  (Please hear the sarcasm)

Today is the day!

Today is surgery day!  Yay!  I think.  I am not really sure how to feel about today, relief, fear, hope?

There are just a ton of emotions going through my mind.  I am happy to be moving to this next step, but as it gets closer to the time to head to hospital I am feeling very anxious and nervous.  I know things will all be fine, and that this isn't really MAJOR surgery.  I am grateful that the recommendations were for the lumpectomy and not a mastectomy.  I would be even more of a basket case.  I am sure today will go smoothly and I will be ready to get out and walk the dog in a few days!

I want everyone to know how much I appreciate your emails, texts, phone calls, posts on Facebook and Instagram!  I have such an amazing support team!   Thank you all so much.