Pathology

Tonight I had an appointment with my surgeon to check my incisions and see if the final pathology was back.  He is always running late and after the surgery fiasco I know why.  His office manager knew I was sick so she called me at home when it was time for me to come in.  

I am not going to lie I was nervous.  Nervous that the pathology wasn't back.  Nervous that it was.  Just nervous.

When he came in he was first going to examine my incisions when he realized we hadn't gone over the pathology.  He showed me the report and honestly I was scared.

The two lymph nodes that were removed were NEGATIVE!  That's right!  No cancer in them!  

The other factor was clean margins around the tumor, and that's right, there were!  It means the lumpectomy was a SUCCESS!

I still have to have radiation and finish my year of chemo, but for now things are looking pretty damn good!

A year ago this month I found the lump in my breast and tonight I got to hear that it wasn't there any more.  I am relieved, happy, overwhelmed, scared, tired, all of it.  I feel like I am going to wake up and it's not going to be true.  The same way I felt when I got my diagnosis.  

Every bit of this has sucked.  ALL OF IT.  And none of it goes according to plan, except this. This went according to plan.  The plan is screwed up and all over the place, trips to the hospital, shots for blood counts, fluids every other freaking day, but the chemo worked and so did the lumpectomy.  

I am so grateful to have found such good doctors in this town.  And I am so grateful for everyone who has helped us out, cheered us on, sent us cards, money, and food, and everything else.  There are no words.  None.