I hate the "New Normal"

THE NEW NORMAL.....

I can't tell you how many times I heard that when I was diagnosed, going through treatment, going into surgery, getting maintenance meds, going to radiation, going to physical therapy because of surgery and radiation.

Everyone said it, "You will just have to adjust to your 'new normal."  Well what the hell does that mean?!!  I mean really, normal?!  There is nothing normal about cancer and the treatment that comes with it.  NOTHING!  


I have talked about this before, but it's been coming up again and it makes me want to scream.  No one's life is "normal" right?  We all have our struggles and our ups and downs, but we learn to adjust and we call it "normal." It's anything but normal. 

So when something like cancer comes along, it's all about getting back to how it used to be, the "normal."  But it never goes back.  EVER.  My life will never be what it was before May 12, 2017.  EVER.  I will never get to be where I was and I will never know what it would be like to not have gotten that diagnosis.  

Before cancer I could walk 3 miles 3 times a day in ANY weather. Now I can walk a mile, but it has to be warm out because my joints hurt so bad in the cold.

I could play with my kids, work, cook dinner, clean the house, walk the dog all in ONE day. Now I can maybe do one of those things a day.

I could eat whatever I wanted. Now I have to be careful because I get sick.

I could raise my left arm above my head. Now I go to PT to try and regain my range of motion.

I had nice skin. Now it's dry and flakey. (But it's getting better thanks to the body butter.)

I had nice nails.  Now they break ALL the time.

I had nice hair.  Let's not forget it ALL fell out and it taking forever to grow back.

I had been in the hospital twice in my life, when my kids were born. Now I have had 4 surgeries, and numerous visits.

I never took medicine.  Now my counter top is full of pills that cause me to feel like shit.

I had strong bones. Now I have osteoporosis due to meds and menopause.  

Oh yeah that, surgical menopause at age 40.  Yep, that's great.

So, when I hear, "The New Normal" I want to puke!  No I don't have to adjust and no this isn't normal!  

Is it my life?  Yes.  It is.  This is what is. But it's not normal.  

It's my new north.  My new direction.  My new path.  And sometimes I forget that.  This is MY path.  This is MY journey.  This is MY direction.  And wherever I go is where I will be.