Chemoversary

June 12 marked my "chemoversary."  It was one year ago, that I reluctantly walked up the stairs of the cancer center to the chemo suite.  I was scared.  I was mad.  I was unsure of the choice I had made.  It was one of the worst feelings of my life, right along with May 12.  

I made it though chemo and thought all was good.  Then a year ago today I ended up in the hospital with nutropenia (which means I had no white blood cells).  I had horrible mouth sores and I was very, very sick.  And very, very mad.  



But here we are today, a year later and things are okay.  I made it through the worst chemo, surgery, radiation.  I am here.  This past year has been a little bit of everything, bad, good, sad, mad, pretty much every emotion.  But the one thing it really has been is a blur.  I have just been trying to get by, day to day.  Which is so unlike me.  I am a planner, and I haven't been able to plan.  But that's how it's been.

Right now I am dealing with the side effects of the tamoxifen and a lot of pain in my left side and breast.  But I am here, and in the end, that is all that matters.