Cancerversary

This is a post I have written in my mind over and over again, and I am now able to bring myself to put the words down.

May 12, 2018 was my cancerversary.  That is the day that marked one year since I became known as a cancer patient and a cancer survivor.  Did you know that you are considered a survivor the day you are diagnosed?  I have never known how I really feel about that.

Anyway, the 12th was a rough day for me.  I thought I would be able to keep my shit together, but I was an emotional mess. And for what?  To relive the phone call?  To think about that day and what the doctor said?  Which by the way, I will never, ever forget.  Why is the cancerversary so emotional for some people?

I have thought a lot about it I have come to the conclusion that it was an emotional day for me because that one day, May 12, 2017, my life changed forever, and so did the lives of the people around me.  Like the birth of a child, the death of a loved one, my life path changed, and this was not a change I was ready for, and sometimes I feel like I am still not ready for it and I am not adjusting very well.  So for me, that is why it was an emotional day.  I hope some day that May 12th will just be another day, but like my kids' birthdays it is forever marked in my mind.