How Did We Get Here?

How did we get here?  Does it really matter?  Not now.

In January I was pumping, because I am still breast feeding (20 months!), and I found a small lump on my left breast.  I thought it was odd, but not completely abnormal.  The only reason it really caught my attention is because my co-worker had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  The days went on and I didn't notice it again, until one day in February.  It bothered me enough that I called my doctor.  She had me come in and she examined it and determined that it was most likely a clogged duct due to where it was located and the fact that the flanges on my pump were too small.  She gave me some suggestions to help with it and sent me on my way.


I went back to see her on March 20th for a check up and it was still there.  We both felt that it had gotten smaller but she wasn't happy that it wasn't gone so she ordered a mammogram and a breast ultrasound and the breast cancer gene screening.  I called the next day to schedule the mammogram and was told that it would be over month before I could get in.  Not knowing any better I made the appointment and went on about my day to day life.  

In hindsight this was my first mistake.  I didn't know that a diagnostic mammogram should not have to wait this long.  I should have called my doctor.  Ladies take note!  

On April 21st I went back to see my doctor and she asked why I hadn't done the mammogram or the gene screening.  I explained that I couldn't get in for the mammogram until April 24th and that the insurance was being difficult about the gene screening.  She was not happy and sent me to a new walk in imaging center.  

On Wednesday, April 26th I got to experience my first mammogram.  Boy, that's fun!  

On Monday, May 1st I got the call that there was a "suspicious mass" found on the ultrasound and that my doctor wanted a biopsy done.  On Wednesday, May 10th I went in for a biopsy, another really fun procedure.  (please, hear the sarcasm)

The time between the mammogram and the Friday I got the results I had every thought you can imagine.  "It's fine."  "It's a cyst."  "It's cancer."  Of course I was searching the internet for every thing I could find that looked like what I saw on the ultrasound screen.  But I didn't know what in the hell I was looking at.  

But what I did know is that I had breast fed TWO kids for a total of almost 4 years.  Wasn't that supposed to be sure fire protection?  I was going to be fine!  I exercise, eat pretty well, drink A LOT of water, some wine and beer, but that's pretty much it.  It was nothing.  I will be fine!

Friday, May 12th I woke up with mastitis (an infection in the breast) from the biopsy.  My doctor wanted to see me right away.  I left her office with some meds and pretty positive outlook because she said she was hoping they irritated the milk duct and that things might be okay.  I asked that if the results came in that she would call me, even though they closed at noon and it was Friday.  I just needed to know.  

I went back to work finished out the day.  Went home.  Got the kids ready for their school program, Atleigh's last and Tristan's first.  Then my phone rang and every thing changed.

Just like that.