Meeting the Oncologist

That's a phrase I never thought I would have to use, "Meeting the oncologist," because cancer is something that happens to other people, right?  

I'm not gonna lie when I thought about getting health care in Las Cruces I was a little freaked out.  I have heard some horrible stories about the medical profession here in this little town.  So when it came time for me to find an oncologist what did I do?  Google, of course, and I asked around.  

How Did We Get Here?

How did we get here?  Does it really matter?  Not now.

In January I was pumping, because I am still breast feeding (20 months!), and I found a small lump on my left breast.  I thought it was odd, but not completely abnormal.  The only reason it really caught my attention is because my co-worker had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  The days went on and I didn't notice it again, until one day in February.  It bothered me enough that I called my doctor.  She had me come in and she examined it and determined that it was most likely a clogged duct due to where it was located and the fact that the flanges on my pump were too small.  She gave me some suggestions to help with it and sent me on my way.

The Diagnosis

May 12, 2017, 4:55pm

Invasive ductile carcinoma
ER/PR+
Grade 2
Suspicious lympic invasion


Before that Friday I had no idea what all of that meant.  Now?  I know more than I have ever wanted to know.

When the voice on the other end said, "Is this a good time to talk?"  I knew.  I knew what she was going to say, and she said it.  The C word and not the 4 letter one.  CANCER.  And you know what I wanted to say back to her, "WHAT THE FUCK?  I breastfed for 4 fucking years!  I am healthy!"