Our 17th anniversary was on March 27, 2020. For the whole week I knew Atleigh had something planned I just didn't know what. I kept explaining to her that it was not Mother's Day, that they day was about Daddy too!
Fast forward to the 27th at about noon. Josh tells me she wants us to recreate our wedding day! Say what!? Why hasn't anyone told me this all week? I could have been prepared for this!!! And when it comes to Atleigh she has BIG plans! Dresses, flowers, decorations, all of it. And we had about 4 hours to do it all.
I'll be honest at first, I was just kind of feeling what ever about this. Thinking, "Okay we will do this for the kids, whatever. Let's do it and be done, have dinner, baths and go to bed."
Atleigh explained her vision to me: decorations around the fire place, she would be the flower girl and the maid of honor, Tristan would be the ring bearer and the best man, Unkie would do the ceremony over FaceTime, there would be music, and kissing, and bouquet throwing, all of it. I seriously was just like whatever, sure.
And then I stopped. And realized how important this was to my little girl. How she had planned this all week. How thought out it all was. And I decided to embrace it. Decorations, flowers, dresses, make up, real shoes! All of it.
So we decorated, we found some flowers to use, we did hair and make up, we found a pillow for the rings and a flower girl basket, we practiced, and we got Unkie and his family on FaceTime!
And then it came time for the real ceremony. Thank goodness for Alexa. We played the music we played at our wedding. We all walked in and stood in our spots and then Unkie began. And when he did we all kind of laughed and smiled. Things were normal. Kids running around, dog getting into whatever he could find. Josh dropped the ring and the dog almost ate it, but then we go to the vows and something changed.
All of a sudden a huge feeling of overwhelm came up, emotions started flooding to the surface.
"in good times, and in bad, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."
I said these words 17 years ago and they meant something else on that day in March, but on this day in March they meant so much more, and I had no idea.
I had no idea that 17 years ago when I said, "in good times, and in bad," what that would really mean. That good times, weren't fun and games, and bad times just weren't bad moods. Good times were getting the kids to bed on time. Bad times were dealing with fears of loss and depression.
I had no idea that 17 years ago when I said, "for richer, for poorer," what that meant. That there would be job loss, moves, and medical bills that might break us financially.
I had no idea that 17 years ago when I said, "in sickness, and in health," that we would be faced with me getting cancer.
I had no idea that 17 years ago when I said, "to love and to cherish," what that really stood for. What it really means to cherish someone. To imagine a world without that person and to feel like you might just die.
"This is my solemn vow." I said these words, but did not understand the meaning. I though I did, but I had NO idea. NONE.
But I do now, and saying those words over again, on that day, 17 years later meant so much. It was a reminder of all that we have been through.
A move to Colorado.
A move to Alaska.
No family around for MILES.
A move back to New Mexico.
A move back to Alaska.
A complicated and scary pregnancy.
A child being born.
A move back to NM.
New jobs.
No jobs.
New jobs.
Another complicated pregnancy.
Another child being born.
Post partum depression.
A move to Texas.
Preparing to move to another country.
A cancer diagnosis.
Raising kids.
Another move.
The death of our yorkie.
Surviving the cancer treatment.
No job.
Raising kids.
New job.
No job.
New job.
Raising kids.
The death of our lab.
Social distancing.
Raising kids.
The list goes on. These things didn't happen to just one of us, they happened to both of us. And we survived them TOGETHER. That's what those vows mean. All of this. Seventeen years ago I said those words,and I thought I knew what it meant, but I had no idea.
I was totally taken back by all of this. There will never be enough words or the right words to ever make Atleigh understand what she did for me this day. She opened my eyes and my heart. I am so grateful for such a wonderful daughter and that she planed this day for us. We needed it. I needed it.
