Goodbye 2017....

I'll be honest I have mixed emotions about this year coming to an end.  This year has been filled with so many ups and downs.

- Making plans to move to another country

- Getting diagnosed with breast cancer

- Having to cancel our plans to another country

- Having to move so we can be closer for my treatments

- Atleigh starting kindergarten

- Tristan starting preschool

- Tristan turning 2

- Atleigh turning 6

- Me turning 40!

More ups, but the one big downer has seemed to consume the year.  Our lives changed forever on May 12, 2017.  Since that date we have faced harder decisions than I ever thought we would, but so far we have made it through.  It's been hard on all of us and I don't know that it will get any easier, but we are here, and we are together, so bring on 2018!

I just read a post that said, "No more making everything perfect so we can be happy.  We will just be happy so everything will feel perfect!"  Yes!  I needed to read this.

Happy New Year!  I hope you have an amazing 2018!

The Stages of Hair Growth

My hair has started to grow back, and it is crazy how fast it is coming back!  I have mixed feelings about this.  I really enjoyed not having to shave my legs!  And getting ready was so easy!!!

This was two weeks ago......

This was last night.....

Surgery Has Been Scheduled

Well, after a lot of time and thought and more appointments with my surgeon my surgery date has been made.  January 4th, 2018.  I was really struggling with the decision of lumpectomy or mastectomy and the possibility of radiation with either.  But after consults with my doctors we have decided on a lumpectomy with radiation.

In all honesty, I was fine putting of the decision because I am scared.  I am scared of the surgery.  I am scared that the surgeon won't remove enough tissue and he will have to go back.  I am scared that my lymph nodes have been infected.  I am scared of the recovery.  I am just scared.  So putting the decision off was easy for me.  But I do feel a little better having made a decision and having set a date.

In other news, Atleigh has been sick.  Tristan has something going on, not sure what.  But he is schedule for a tonsillectomy in January, and I have a sinus infection.

Today I am getting my second round of maintenance treatment and just found out that my white count is extremely low and my oncologist wants me to get some shots and if my counts don't come up then my surgery will be postponed.  Hopefully the shots will work!!!

And so it begins....

Well today is my first day of "maintenance therapy" or mini chemo as I like to call it.  This will go on every three weeks for 13 cycles, so I will be done with this sometime in September, fingers crossed.  

The good news is that these two medicines are supposed to be easier to deal with.  Yay for that!  However, one of them is hard on the heart, so that is a concern.  I will have to have an echo cardiogram every three months to check my heart muscle function.  

For the most part things are going well.  My MRI results showed that the tumor shrunk by 2/3.  Which is great!  We still have to make the surgery decision.  This is hard for me.  I am worried about making the wrong decision.  I trust my doctors and their recommendations, but ultimately it is up to Josh and me, and it's scary.  Even though my scans were good there is still the fear that the cancer will come back at some point.  I guess that will never go away.  Cancer the gift that keeps on giving.  

My hair is starting to grow back which is weird, but my toenails are trying to fall off.  Nice.  Lovely side effects from chemo.